You can do it – don’t give up!

After my recent post where I dug into hidden difficulties, I feel like it’s important to share the other side of the story. If you really want to do something, you can do it[1].

It’s easy to look around – especially on social media – and see people making complex and difficult tasks look simple and effortless. It’s also easy to judge your own learning processes, struggles, and failures, against the final edited results of people who have been learning and practicing for years – and to feel disheartened by the comparison.

Please do not fall into this trap – everyone makes mistakes. Take a look at this outtake from my recent video on being a PM at Microsoft:

The final video ended up including around 20 minutes of “talking head” footage, but I had closer to 40 minutes of raw footage before I edited out all most of the mistakes and false starts.

It’s not just me. One of my data community heroes, Power BI MVP Ida Bergum, recently shared a similar example:

If you’re ever feeling like an impostor[2], like there’s no way your efforts could ever measure up to all the “experts” you see online, don’t give up. You can do it.

Every successful example that you see online or at a conference or on a bookstore shelf has gone through the same journey. They may be further down the path – that’s usually the easy thing to see. They also had a different starting point and they probably have a different destination in mind as well, even if it’s close to your goals.

Even if you see someone and think “I wish I…” it’s important to remember that they struggled along the way as well. Odds are they struggled in different ways or in different places, but no one’s journey is free of bumps and detours – even if people usually prefer to share the highlights from the easy parts.

One of my favorite quotes on this subject is from a cartoon alien-dog-thing, and you can find it all over Pinterest:

Picture from https://quotesgram.com/adventure-time-jake-the-dog-quotes/

It never feels great to suck at something you want to not suck at, but everyone sucks at the beginning. Most people just don’t like to admit it – at least not until they’ve moved past the “sorta good” phase.

One overlooked benefit of being earlier on your learning journey is that you can still remember what it was like to suck at something, and what was valuable to you then. If you’ve been doing something every day for 20 years, odds are you may not remember what it was like to just be starting off. But if you are becoming sorta good at something, you have a perspective that you can share with everyone out there who sucks at that thing, and would really like to be sorta good.

Anyway… I didn’t quite figure out how to get the narrative for this post into written form. The story was there in my head, but didn’t want to take shape once I started typing. But I won’t let that stop me, because it doesn’t need to be perfect to be good, and useful.[3]


[1] I’ve included the “if you really want” qualifier deliberately. Motivation and desire are critical for success, because it’s that want that will push you to keep getting back up after you fall down, and will keep you looking for more resources and opportunities to learn and improve.

[2] I still remember the day I first read this blog post by Scott Hanselman. My friend Cheryl had shared it on Facebook, with a comment about how she had thought “it was just me.” I’d known and admired Cheryl for years, and had no idea she felt this way, because I’d only ever seen her kicking butt. This is just another example of why it’s important to talk about mental health.

[3] I swear I didn’t plan this ending, but once it presented itself you’re darned right I was going to run with it.

Diving into the blender

Sometimes things are hard.

Sometimes things are hard, not just hard for you, but just really hard.

And sometimes you can’t always tell which is which, until after the hardship has passed.

This post is something of a personal story, but based on the positive responses I’ve received to my post on being a PM at Microsoft, I suspect that there might be someone out there that might find some lesson or inspiration or something in the story.

In the summer of 2011 I  moved my family from upstate New York to Redmond, WA to join the SQL Server Integration Services[1] PM team. I’d been an SSIS MVP before joining Microsoft in 2008, and this felt like a real dream job. I could help the team finish and ship SSIS in SQL Server 2012, and then make the next version of SSIS better than it could otherwise be.

Except it didn’t quite work out that way.

In reality, I was joining a part of Microsoft that was at the forefront of the massive wave of change that transformed the company into the Microsoft we know today. Everything was in flux, from roles and responsibilities to ownership and processes, to the fundamental questions of what products and services we would build and ship. The 18 months that followed was a series of large and small reorgs, and every time I felt like I was getting my feet under me, everything seemed to change again.

People around me seemed to be rolling with it, and adapting to the new reality. For me, it was chaos, and I floundered. Even though I had worked for Microsoft for three years, this was my first technical PM role. I made it through, but it was one of darkest periods on my adult life. It was hard. It almost broke me, and I thought it was me.

Image by AD_Images from Pixabay
Pixabay didn’t have any pictures of blenders, and this one really captures how it felt.

Later on in 2014 I was working as a program manager on the first generation of Azure Data Catalog, and I was interviewing a new member of the PM team. For the purposes of this story[2] I’ll call this new PM Rick. Rick was a veteran PM who had shipped multiple major features in SQL Server and the first releases of SQL Azure, so he was interviewing the team as much as we were interviewing him.

During the interview, Rick asked me to tell my story – how did I end up where I was, where had I worked, what did I do, that sort of thing. So I told him my story, and when I got to the summer of 2011, he inhaled so sharply that I paused. I looked at him, and saw a look of surprise and respect[3] on his face. He looked at me, and he said:

Damn. You dove into the fucking blender.

He then went on to talk about how in his experience this time and place was the epicenter of unprecedented change and disruption that saw many veterans struggle – and saw many of them decide to look for opportunities elsewhere.

Rick and I worked together for for the next year and a half, and I learned a lot from him over that time. But I think the most important lesson I learned was that it wasn’t just me. I’d thought I was going for a swim in familiar waters, but I had actually dived into a blender, and I managed to get out with most of my extremities still attached.

That’s the story.

I think there’s a lesson in there somewhere about not giving up, about being true to yourself, and about doing what you think is the right thing to do, even when it feels like nothing you do is making any difference on the world of struggle around you. This would be a great lesson, if it’s actually in there.

The lesson that I know is in there is that sometimes things are really hard, and it’s not just you. This isn’t a nice lesson or an easy one, but that doesn’t make it any less real.


[1] SSIS FTW!!

[2] Also because it is his name.

[3] I’m not the best at reading emption, so I honestly don’t know if there was any respect there, but it sounds good so I’m going to roll with it. Rick can correct me if he needs to. He knows where I live.

Don’t tell me it’s easy

“This will be really easy for you to do.”

“This is super simple.”

“This shouldn’t take you long at all.”

bulb-1994881_640

Every time you say this to someone, you’re diminishing them.

Every time you tell someone that completing a task or solving a problem will be easy, you’re telling them that you don’t know them and that you don’t care to know.

You’re saying loud and clear “you’re just like me, and if you’re not just like me then tough luck.”

Don’t do this.

Instead, take the time to realize that your experience and perspective may not be universal. Other people may have different perspectives, different strengths and weaknesses, different skills and different knowledge.

Someone with dyslexia may struggle with some common tasks that involve consuming or processing written information, despite reading every day.

Someone on the autism spectrum may struggle with tasks that involve social interaction, understanding the motivations and goals of others, or understanding how their actions will be perceived by others, despite interacting with people every day.

Someone who is short may struggle reaching items on high shelves, despite taking things off and putting things back onto shelves every day.[1]

Despite any hidden difficulties, these struggling people may still show every sign of effortless success. The things that are constantly difficult for them may be part of their day-to-day work. The tasks that challenge and batter and exhaust them may be part of the successes that define their public persona and reputation. But this doesn’t make the struggle any less real. This doesn’t make it easy.

When someone completes a task that would be easy for you, it could be because it is also easy for them. But it could also be because they spent extra hours or days preparing, or that they have special tools and practices that enable their success.

Speaking of tools and practices, let’s get back to those short people. I’m choosing this example because it’s a simple one that everyone will be able to relate to, or at least to understand. Mental and emotional challenges are no less real than physical ones, but they’re often more difficult to communicate and appreciate.

My wife is a foot (30.5 cm) shorter than I am. We both cook a lot, and we share kitchen tasks like cleaning and putting away dishes.

In our kitchen we we use the top of the cupboards as extra storage for large bowls and canisters and such. I can reach these items with ease, although I may need to stand on my toes to get a better grip. Most of the time I don’t even think about it. For me the top of the cupboards is just another handy shelf.

My wife cannot begin to reach the top of the cupboards – what is simple and effortless for me is difficult or impossible for her without additional help or tools. If she needs to get down something from the shelf she needs to walk into the dining room, get a chair, bring the chair into the kitchen, stand on the chair, get down the item she needs, step down from the chair, take the chair back into the dining room, and return to the kitchen to use whatever item she took down.

Think about that: what might take me half a second and a single motion might take her a minute or more, including some potentially dangerous steps along the way.

Of course, the solutions here are as trivial as the problem itself: I get down and put away the things my wife needs, and we are selective in what we store above the cupboards so this is an edge case rather than a common occurrence. But the only reasons we’re able to find this shared path to success is because we recognize the challenge and collaborate to apply our own individual strengths, while acknowledging and minimizing the impact of our individual weaknesses.

When someone’s work appears effortless, it could be because it comes naturally to them, and they may move on easily to their next chore, and the next. But it could also be that the effort is hidden, and that when the work is done they will need a few hours or a few days just to recover from the herculean exertion that you will never see.

You don’t know, and you probably never will.

So don’t tell me it’s easy, even if it is easy for you. Instead, work with me to discover how it can be easier for us, working together.


[1] Hold that thought. I’ll come back to this one.

 

Being a Program Manager at Microsoft

My awesome friend Christopher also works at Microsoft, but his career and mine have taken different paths since we joined. Here we are together back in 2008, before either one of us worked at Microsoft. He’s the one not wearing a Manowar t-shirt.

gateslunch1
No, no, the other one.

Out backgrounds are remarkably similar. We each spent years before joining Microsoft as Microsoft Certified Trainers, with an emphasis on software development rather than systems administration. We each became involved in the MCT community, and in the broader technical community, and to one extent or another this helped us find our first positions at Microsoft.

These days Christopher is working with student developers – I’ve seen him tweeting a lot recently about Django on Twitch, which probably means that he’s still teaching people about software development… or may be watching Quentin Tarantino movies while drinking too much coffee. Honestly, either one is possible.

Anyway… Christopher reached out to me last month and asked if I’d be interested in talking to college students about to graduate about what it’s like being a program manager at Microsoft. I said yes[1], then I said this:

I’ll let the video speak for itself. I tell my story for the first 15 minutes or so, and around the 14:50 mark I talk with Will Thompson and Tessa Hurr from the Power BI team and ask them to share their experiences as well. But there are a few things that I want to add that didn’t really fit well into the video.

First of all, every team has a need for many types of program managers. I’ve blogged about diversity enough that you probably know how I feel about the value of diverse teams, and this applies to PM teams at Microsoft as well. Since this video is targeted at college students and recent college graduates, I’d like to focus briefly on the career diversity dimension.

What does “career diversity dimension” mean? Looking at most PM teams I see program managers falling into three broad groups:

  1. New to career – program managers who are starting their careers after college, or after switching from a non-IT discipline.[2]
  2. Industry hires – program managers who are new to Microsoft, but who have an established career in a related field.[3] This is often someone who has been a consultant, developer or administrator who works hands-on with Microsoft or competitive tools and technologies.
  3. Veterans – program managers who have been at Microsoft long enough to succeed a few times, fail a few times, and understand what PM success can look like on multiple teams.[4]

Reading this list it may be easy to think that there is a progression of value implied, but this is not the case. A successful team will find ways to get from each group the things that only they can contribute. A PM in one group will be able to see things and do things that a PM in other groups will not, and an experienced team leader will be able to direct each PM to the problems that they are best suited to solve, and can add the most value.

The second thing I wanted to add to the video is that each team is different. I said this in the video, but I want to elaborate here. Each team will have its own culture, and some teams will be a better fit than others for a given PM. I’ve worked on multiple teams where I didn’t think I was contributing effectively, or where I felt that my contributions weren’t valued[5]. At one point this culture mismatch almost led me to leave Microsoft, but with the support of my manager at the time I instead found another team in another org where I could thrive.

And this leads me to the the final point I wanted to add: Microsoft is huge. I’ve been a PM at Microsoft since October 2008, but I’ve had 4 or 5 major career changes since then, with very different responsibilities after each change, requiring very different contributions from me.

When I was interviewing for my first position in 2008, the hiring manager asked me why I wanted to work for Microsoft. I already had a successful career as a data warehousing and ETL consultant, and becoming a Microsoft employee would include a reduction in income, at least in the short term. Why give up what I’d built?

I hadn’t expected this question, and my answer was authentic and unscripted, and I’ve thought a lot about it over the past 11+ years. I told him that I wanted to join Microsoft because Microsoft had bigger and more challenging problems to solve than I would ever see as a consultant, and would never run out of new problems for me to help solve. If I joined Microsoft, I would never be bored.

I wanted to join Microsoft because Microsoft had bigger and more challenging problems to solve than I would ever see as a consultant, and would never run out of new problems for me to help solve. If I joined Microsoft, I would never be bored.

And I was right.

If you’re a PM at Microsoft, please share your thoughts and experiences.

If you’re thinking about becoming a PM at Microsoft, please share your questions.

If you’ve joined Microsoft as a PM after watching this video and reading this blog, please send me an email, because I would love to say hi.


[1] It’s a good thing he asked when he did. I haven’t had a haircut since late February, and I don’t know when I’ll let anyone point a camera at my head again…

[2] This was kind of me when I first applied for a position at Microsoft in the 90s, although I already had a few years’ experience. I was not hired.

[3] This was me in 2008 when I was hired.

[4] This is me in 2020. I tend to talk about the successes more, but it’s the failures I think about the most, and where I learned the most along the way. Success is awesome, but it’s a lousy teacher.

[5] Yes, this sucked as much as you could imagine.

Think before you GIF

Animated GIF images are an inescapable part of our online experiences, and more and more tools make it easier and easier to include them in our written communication. Sometimes this can be a good thing.

Sometimes. Not all times.

Before you include a GIF image – especially one that flashes or blinks or strobes – in your next chat message, please pause to consider the impact that this may have on the recipients.

burnout-3721062_640

Before you include a GIF, ask yourself:

  • How many people will see this – is this a 1:1 chat, or is it a large group?
  • Does the GIF include flashing, strobing, blinking, fast-moving images?
  • Do any of the people who will see the GIF have photosensitive conditions like seizures or migraines?
  • Are you sure?
  • Does the software tool you’re using allow users to disable GIF autoplay?

I include this last point because Microsoft Teams does not provide any option to disable GIF autoplay. Seriously – even tough the UserVoice forum for Teams says that this was done in 2017, the Teams UX today does not provide any option for users to prevent GIFs from playing for them.

So if you are on a Teams meeting with 100 people and you post a GIF, everyone sees it. And odds are, that GIF you posted will mean that someone on the call will need to leave the call, or close the chat, or maybe end up in a dark room in pain for the rest of the day.

So please think before you GIF.

Diversity of Perspective

I blogged last October[0] about the challenges I faced when trying to use the new Html.Table function in Power Query. A key part of my challenge was the gap between my perspective, and the perspective of the team shipping and documenting this feature.

At first I chalked this off as an old dog[1] trying to learn a new trick[2], but I’ve been thinking about this since then, and I’m not sure that this is the case. I think that it may have been the result of differing perspectives – and differing expectations resulting from those perspectives.

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay
This may or may not be a photo of Matthew

My perspective is that as a data integration tool, Power Query will work the way that my ~20 years as a data professional have trained me to expect data integration tools will work. If there’s a query language or formula language or expression language that is required to access a specific source, I expect that language to be identified and documented in the tool.

The Power Query team, on the other hand, may have had a different perspective here. I haven’t explicitly asked them[3], but I suspect that their perspective is that it’s 2018, and anyone working with HTML data already knows what CSS selectors are, and either knows how to use them, or where to look to learn enough to use them.

I don’t know which perspective is more valid. Part of me believes that mine is, and bemoans the time I spent struggling to achieve a simple goal, because the documentation didn’t connect the dots for me. But I also note that no one – not in comments here, not on Twitter – has said that they were similarly challenged.

But I can say this: A difference in perspective meant that what was delivered wasn’t what was needed, at least by one user.

Another example of this type of mismatch is one I see too often[4] at conferences: Microsoft presenters using Microsoft’s specialized vocabulary when speaking with non-Microsoft audiences. This typically takes the form of using internal code names and acronyms, rather than official product names – if you’ve been to more than a handful of Microsoft events you’ve probably seen this yourself. I think the worst example I’ve seen was when a presenter mentioned that an upcoming feature was coming “in the scandium time frame.[5]

Every culture – whether it’s centered in a geographical region, a profession, a religion, or a large corporation – has a specialized internal nomenclature. It enables members to communicate more efficiently. This isn’t a bad thing – it’s natural and good, and helps teams and groups deliver on their goals and priorities.

But problems can and do arise when one party doesn’t take the other party’s background into consideration. This is where having a diverse team can help.

When a team has a diverse makeup, it makes it more likely that potential problems will be prevented before they need to be identified, and identified before they need to be fixed.

If you want to be more efficient and to produce products and services (and documentation!) that delivers on your customers’ needs the first time, every time, by default, your team makeup should reflect the customers who use your product. If you look around and everyone on your team looks the same, this should be a warning sign that customers who don’t look like you probably don’t have the same experience that you do.

And if you don’t see that as a problem, you should probably look elsewhere for your problem. Try looking in the mirror.

Update: Two days after this post was published, David Heinemeier Hansson posted a blistering example of why diversity is so important, using his wife’s experience with Apple’s new credit card to drive the point home. I strongly recommend reading the whole thread.


[0] I started writing this post in November 2018, and it’s been languishing in my drafts folder ever since. I’m making an effort to clean up my drafts by the end of the year, so hopefully this one will actually see the light of day before it’s 2020. Fingers crossed…

[1] Me.

[2] CSS selectors.

[3] I feel like I’m enough of a problem child most days, so I try not to bother them unless it’s really necessary.

[4] Although thankfully not nearly as often as I used to.

[5] If you know what this means, you work on the Azure team[6]. Sadly, the people in the audience did not work on the Azure team. Thankfully, someone in the audience stood up and asked for clarification.

[6] When I worked on the Azure team I still didn’t know. I was constantly asking for clarification in meeting after meeting and email after email. Maybe I am just slow…

Never stop asking “stupid” questions

When I joined Microsoft, the team running my NEO[1] session shared a piece of advice with my “class” of fresh-faced new hires:

“Think of your first year as a grace period where you can ask any question you want, without anyone thinking it’s a stupid question for which you should already know the answer.”

This sounded like empowering wisdom at the time, but the unspoken side of it was damaging. Between the lines, I heard this message as well, and it was this part that stuck with me:

“You’ve got one year to figure things out, and after that you’d better have your act together and know everything – because if you keep asking stupid questions we’ll know that we made a mistake hiring you.”

I hope it’s obvious that this wasn’t the intent of the advice, but I’ve spoken to enough people over the years to know that I’m far from the only one to take it this way.

bored-3126445_640
How Matthew pictures everyone reacting when he asks questions.

In retrospect, I believe that I should have known better, but I let this unspoken message find a home in my brain, and I listened to it. I remained quiet – and remained ignorant – when I should have been asking questions.

Over the past few years[2], I have finally broken this self-limiting habit. Day after day, and meeting after meeting, I’m the guy asking the questions that others are thinking, and wishing they could ask, but don’t feel comfortable or confident enough to speak up. I’m the guy asking “why” again and again until I actually understand. And people are noticing.

How do I know that others want to ask the same questions?

I know because they tell me. Sometimes they say thank you in the meetings, and sometimes ask their own follow-up questions. Sometimes they stop me in the hall after the meeting to say thank you. And on a few occasions people have set up 1:1 meetings with me to ask about what I do, and how they can learn to do the same.

How do I know that people are noticing?

A few of the people I’ve interrupted to ask “why” have also set up time with me to discuss how they can better communicate and prepare to have more useful and productive meetings.[3] These are generally more experienced team members who appreciate that my questions are highlighting unstated assumptions, or helped them identify areas where they needed a clearer story to communicate complex topics.

I’ve been with Microsoft since October 2008 – a little over 11 years. I’ve been working in the industry since the mid 90s. At this point in my career it’s easy for me to ask “stupid” questions because the people I work with know that I’m not stupid.[4][5]

This isn’t true for everyone. If you’re younger, new to role or new to career, or from an underrepresented group[6], you may not have the position of relative safety that I have today. My simple strategy of “asking lots of questions in large groups” may not work for you, and I don’t have tested advice for what will.

My suggestion is to ask those questions in small groups or 1:1 situations where the risk is likely to be lower, and use this experience to better understand your team culture… but I would love to hear your experience and advice no matter what you do. Just as your questions will be different from mine while still being useful, your experience and advice will be different, and will be useful and helpful in different ways.

Whatever approach you take, don’t be quiet. Don’t stop asking questions.

Especially the stupid questions.

Those are the best ones.

 

P.S. While this post has been scheduled and waiting to go live, there have been two new articles that showed up on my radar that feel very relevant to this topic:

  1. The Harvard Business Review posted on Cracking the Code of Sustained Collaboration and how leaders can build and encourage cultures where these behaviors are rewarded.
  2. Ex-Microsoftie James Whittaker posted on Speaking Truth to Power, which presents critical observations of three eras of Microsoft, with examples of how different generations of leaders have affected the corporate culture.

These are very different articles, but they’re both fascinating, and well worth the time to read.


[1] New Employee Orientation. Sadly not anything to do with Keanu Reeves.

[2] I wish I could say that this was a deliberate strategic move on my part, but it was more reactive. Credit goes to the rapid pace of change and my inability to even pretend I could keep up.

[3] Yes, that means meetings where fewer people interrupt to ask “why.”

[4] I’m waiting for the flood of snarky comments from my teammates on this one…

[5] Or in any event, my asking questions is unlikely to change any minds on this particular point.

[6] If you’re not a middle-aged, white, cisgender man…